


how can it be time already?

by parkrstark



Series: SuperCrazyFamily [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bullying, College, Coma, Crying, Fire, Gen, M/M, May Parker (Spider-Man) Dies, Minor Character Death, Minor as in Peter loses someone on patrol, Missions Gone Wrong, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Superfamily (Marvel), implied/referenced panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 03:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20575874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkrstark/pseuds/parkrstark
Summary: 6 times steve stopped the tears and the one time he couldn't.basically, just a lot of steve and peter feels





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a 5+1, but I needed another chapter so extra yay (let's hope it stays at 6 and I don't add more......)
> 
> They'll be quick updates so I'll get them all up soon. I just like to write a little here and there. 
> 
> This is set in my superfamily universe with Harry as well. This first chapter is towards the beginning when they're still new at this. They weren't always so close. You'll see them grow closer in this along the way. So, it's canon up until when he meets tony. He meets tony and then may dies. Once may dies, tony takes Peter in as his kid and then Steve starts dating Tony not too long after.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Steve both have a rough night.

Steve didn’t always sleep well. Despite the war being over 70 years ago, sometimes he still woke up in a cold sweat. The memories were as fresh as if they happened yesterday. The flashbacks weren’t as frequent now that he had moved in with Tony, but sometimes he still had off nights. 

This was one of those nights. 

Some nights were so bad that he just sat up in bed, staring at the wall. Thankfully, tonight wasn’t that bad. He was in that weird state where he was laying down and his eyes were closed, but he wasn’t asleep. Just barely teetering on the bridge of unconsciousness. 

He heard the door creak open and it had him wide awake. It wasn’t one of the dogs because Bree had fallen asleep on Tony’s side and Dodger was still on top of his legs. Maybe Bree had snuck out and was only coming back in? Steve tried not to think of any other possibilities like intruders trying to get rid of Captain America and Iron Man when they were at their most vulnerable. 

So what, he was a little paranoid. He had good reason to be. 

He slowed his breathing so he could hear better and he heard a distinct set of feet tip-toeing across the carpet (regular ears wouldn’t be able to pick up on them, but Steve could because of his soldier serum). The feet stopped and then the mattress creaked as it dipped slightly at the bottom. 

There was someone sitting at the bottom of their bed. 

Steve let go of Tony, careful not to wake him. He pulled his feet from underneath Dodger and he didn’t wake either. Dodger was usually good with danger, so why didn't he know a stranger was sitting right by him?

Maybe the intruder filled the vents with poisonous gas, but it didn’t affect Steve because he was Captain America? 

Steve slowly sat up, now looking over at the foot of his bed. He could see better in the dark than most people, but that didn’t mean it was perfect. The only thing he could tell was that the person was laying down on the bed and not sitting up. 

Suddenly the lump was moving and then Dodger was letting out a little whine. Steve would have gone into full attack mode for anyone hurting Dodger, but the voice that whispered stopped him. 

“Shh, Dodger. It’s okay. It’s just me.” 

Steve blinked. “Peter?”

He saw Peter sit up quickly at the bottom of the bed and then he was on his feet, stumbling out of bed. 

“FRI, turn my light on 30%,” Steve said in a low voice so he could still see the kid without waking Tony up. Once his eyes adjusted, he could see Peter staring back at him with wide eyes, standing there in his pajamas. He was staring down at his feet as he tugged on his sleeves. One of his anxious ticks. “I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

Now that he knew it wasn’t an intruder trying to kill them, he let his heart calm down. “No need for the sir, stuff, Pete. You know that.” 

Peter nodded his head, but Steve knew he wouldn’t listen. He called him Pops usually, but sometimes (in moments like this), he pulled out the “sir”. They had only been living together for a few weeks. Peter wasn’t exactly the easiest kid when he preferred his moods and attitude. Not that Steve blamed him. Ever since he lost May, he’d been lost himself. Steve hoped that Tony taking him in would help and then he had gotten together with Tony and he realized it wasn’t going so great. Some days were good, others were bad. 

Peter must have been having a bad night too. 

No matter how much Peter tried to push them away, Steve always kept himself within arms’ length of Peter. Just in case he called out for his Pops. Like now. 

“You okay?”

“Y-yeah. I’m fine,” he stuttered out, already trying to back out of the room. 

“No, no. You’re not going anywhere. Sit your butt down.” 

Peter looked conflicted, but in the end, he sat back down on the bed. He stopped fidgeting to start running one hand through Dodger’s fur. “I’m sorry I woke you up.” 

“You didn’t wake me up, Pete. I was awake.” 

“Usually, you’re asleep.” 

Steve blinked. “Usually?” 

Peter’s cheeks tinged with a slight blush that Steve could just barely see. “When I come in here, you’re sleeping.” 

“Come in--?”

Peter jerked his head in one nod. “Yeah. On the bad nights, I sneak in here and sleep at the bottom.” 

Imagining Peter sneaking into their room when he was upset just to sleep at their feet like a dog broke Steve’s heart. “Pete...why don’t you wake one of us up? We’re your fathers. We want to help you if something is wrong.” 

“It’s stupid.” 

“I bet you, it’s not.” 

Peter paused for a long moment and if Steve wasn’t staring right at him, he would have thought he had fallen asleep during the pause. When he finally did speak again, his voice broke, “I just get lonely.” 

“Lonely?” Steve asked, his voice soft. He didn’t want Peter to think he was mocking him. 

“Yeah. I don’t like to be alone...I guess...and sometimes, in my room, I feel alone. I don’t like being alone.” 

“So you come in here?”

Peter could only nod his head in response. 

“Peter…” 

“Dodger is always at your feet and I usually just cuddle up with him. I’m sorry for bothering you. I’ll go back to my room now--.” He went to get up, but Steve reached out an arm. 

“Wait!”

Peter stared and waited for him to continue before moving. 

“Don’t go, bud. If you’re having a bad night, you can stay with us.” 

Peter twitched. “I don’t want to bother you.” 

“You wouldn’t be a bother. At all.” 

Peter hesitated before laying back down again. “If I get in the way you can tell me to go.” 

Steve stared at him as he wrapped his arm around Dodger. “What are you doing?” 

“Laying down,” Peter answered, sounding panicked. 

“Get up here.” 

“What?”

“Clean the dirt out of your ears. I said: come up here. You’re not sleeping at the bottom of our bed.” 

“You want me to come up there with you two?” Peter asked as if he was afraid Steve would change his mind. 

“There’s more than enough room.” Steve scooted over to make some room between him and Tony. 

Peter immediately crawled up to lay between them. He got under the blankets but laid rigid. 

Steve rolled his eyes. “You can get comfortable,” he said. 

Peter opened his mouth to say something, but then Tony rolled over in his sleep and wrapped an arm around Peter. Peter’s eyes widened and he went still. Steve hoped that Tony didn’t think that was him. 

Steve wasn’t sure how he did it, but he could tell that it was Peter. He pressed a kiss to Peter’s temple and mumbled, “Hi, bambino. Sleep well. Love you.” And then he was asleep again. 

Steve smiled at the sight and laid down next to Peter. He kept his hands to himself, unlike Tony. “You okay?”

Peter nodded his head and his hand came up to hold onto Tony’s. 

Steve wasn’t close to Peter like Tony was. This was the closest thing to a “moment” they’d shared since Steve started dating Tony. He wanted to wrap an arm around Peter just as Tony was, but he didn’t want to overwhelm the kid too much. “You wanna talk about it?” 

Steve expected a no. Whenever he or any of his friends from the war were woken up from a nightmare and asked if they wanted to talk about it, they always said no. But Peter was a child. He didn’t want to hide his fears. He wanted help. “I had a bad dream.” 

“What happened?”

“May,” Peter said, his voice thick with tears as Steve saw one trail down his cheek. It glistened in the little light he had. “She was angry.” 

Steve let his instincts take over as he ran a hand through Peter’s curls. They were matted with sweat. “Why was she angry?”

“I let her die.” 

“It was an accident, you know that. There was no way you could have stopped it,” Steve said, keeping his voice firm and leaving no room for arguing. 

“I’m replacing her.” 

Peter was distant. He was rude to him and Tony some nights as if he wanted to push them away. It all made sense suddenly. “You’re not replacing her.” 

“Yes, I am,” Peter cried, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“She would want you to be happy and looked after. We both know that.” Steve moved his hand from his hair to his cheek and wiped away a tear with his thumb. 

Peter leaned into the touch for a moment before turning his head. “It’s not fair. She should be here. I'm always left behind and then I just move on.”

“You’re not moving on and you’re not forgetting about her by letting yourself be happy. You deserve to be happy, Peter. Each person in your life has a separate spot in your heart. Your parents, your Uncle Ben, your Aunt May, Tony…”  _ And me _ was left unsaid because Steve didn’t feel right pushing himself into Peter’s life like that. 

“I don’t deserve this.” 

“You do,” Steve said. “You really do. You deserve this and a million times more.” 

“You don’t think May would kill me for having...you guys in my life as guardians?”

“Not at all. I think she’d be relieved to know there were people that loved him still keeping an eye on you. You’re not alone.” 

“Yeah,” Pete said with a sniffle. “Guess I’m not.” 

“You’re not,” Steve said. “We’re always going to be in hee. Even if you need to sleep between the two of us every night for weeks...as long as you’re happy, it’s okay.”

Peter relaxed in Tony’s hold and let his eyes fall shut. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me for doing my job, kiddo.” He watched Peter for a few moments as his breathing began to even out. Then he let his own eyes shut and he started to try and fall asleep. 

A few moments later, he felt someone grab onto his hand and squeeze it gently. “I love you, Pops.” 

Steve kept his eyes shut as he smiled. “I love you too, bud.”

Suddenly, the night wasn’t so bad and Steve fell asleep to the sound of Peter’s soft snores. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the start and are as much of a slut for steve and peter as I am. More angst to come.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets hurt on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter already? I've been planning this forever and it literally all came to me in class.

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Steve asked, his voice both angry and scared. These were doctors. The best doctors that money could buy-- literally. How did they not know what was going on?

“Captain, it’s really just too soon to tell. The brain is a crazy thing and we don’t know what is going on…” The doctor said, sounding apologetic, but that wasn’t good enough. 

“This isn’t just some Joe Shmoe off the street. This is Tony Stark. Iron Man. He has saved thousands of lives. Why can’t you save his?”

The doctor took a deep breath. “I understand why you’re upset,” he said slowly. “But my team has done all we can. Now, we just need to wait and see. It could only be a few hours.” 

“Or it could be days.” 

The doctor nodded. “Hours, days, weeks…” 

“Years?” Steve asked, terrified of the answer. 

“It isn’t likely, but yes. It could be years,” the doctor said. 

Steve turned away and ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck.” 

“That is a worst-case scenario situation. I doubt it will even get that bad. We just don’t know.” 

“Well, now what? I just sit here and wait for you to figure something out?” Steve whirled back around, knowing he probably had a frantic look in his eyes. 

“It’ll be a few hours until we can let you in to go see him. My advice is to go and get changed. Relax, even just a bit. Tony isn’t going anywhere.” 

Steve knew he was right. He was still in his bloody uniform because he followed the med team to the infirmary and didn’t even stop to change his clothes or care to his own wounds. Not that they were anything near as bad as Tony’s. 

“Okay. I’ll go. I’ll get changed. But, I’m going to be here by his side the second I’m allowed even near the room. You got that? So make sure that the second I’m allowed to see him, someone tells me.” 

The doctor nodded his head immediately. “Of course, Captain.” 

“Good.” 

Then Steve was turning around and heading to the nearest bathroom. He didn’t want to get too far from Tony, but he knew he needed to get himself figured out. Funnily enough, that didn’t mean washing the blood and dirt off his face. It meant, pulling out his cell phone and calling Natasha. 

“Steve,” she said after picking up immediately. “How did it go?” 

“Tony’s hurt,” Steve said. “He’s hurt really bad. The doctors don’t know when he’ll wake up.”

“Wait. Slow down. Tony’s hurt? What happened?”

“I don’t know-- it happened way too fast. I was fighting and he was fighting. I didn’t know until he was down.” Steve felt sick as he leaned over the sink. 

“He’s in good hands, Steve. You know that.” 

“Good hands that can’t even tell me when he’ll wake up?” Steve asked incredulously. “I’m not even allowed to see him. What am I supposed to do until I can see him?”

Natasha paused. “I could be completely wrong, but I think the best and only option for you right now is to get over here and come talk to your son.” 

“My son--.” Steve stopped short and he felt like an asshole.  _ Peter.  _ Of course. How the hell could he have forgotten? “Peter. Fuck.” 

“Language, Captain Rogers.” 

Steve huffed because apparently, that was going to follow him for the rest of his life. “I’m not Tony. He’s not close to me. I mean, he’s only ever said he loved me once. That was a month ago.” 

“Oh, come on, Steve. That doesn’t mean he loves you any less than he loves Tony. You’re both his dads. One of them is hurt and he needs the other.” 

“You really expect me to just go to him and tell him that I wasn’t good enough to keep his dad safe on the battlefield?” Steve laughed but there was no humor in it. “No thank you.” 

“That’s not how he’s going to see it,” Natasha said. 

“Of course he will. Because that’s exactly how it happened.”

“Stop. Just stop. This is what you’re going to do. You’re going to come to my apartment, pick up Peter, tell him what happened, and then you’re going to be there for him--  _ be there for each other  _ until Tony is awake.”

“I don’t know how to do that. I can’t handle kids. Especially a 15-year-old kid that doesn’t want anything to do with me.” 

“Don’t say that,” Natasha said. “That kid loves the hell out of you. He’s been worried about you both non-stop since you dropped him off. Both of you. Not just one. Both.”

“I can’t be there for him like Tony always is. I can’t do this. I’m not Tony.” 

“You’re right. You’re not Tony. You’re Steve. His Pops. He needs his Pops.” 

Steve paused and let out a long sigh. “You’re right. Okay. I’ll be right there. Just let me change out of this uniform. I don’t want to scare him with the blood…” 

“Yeah. Take care of yourself. I’ve got him until you get here. But get here fast. He’s not going to like it that he didn’t know right away. So get here as fast as you can.” 

“I will, I will. I’ll be there soon. I promise.” 

Steve hung up the phone and took a deep breath. He had to go see his boy. 

* * *

“Where’s Dad?” Peter asked the minute he was in the car. Steve should have expected it. 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Peter.” He turned to face Peter before he started the car. This was something he couldn’t do while driving. 

“What’s wrong? What happened? Is he--  _ what happened?”  _ Peter was already starting to get worked up. 

Steve went to grab his hand, but he didn’t follow through with it. He stopped halfway through and dropped his hands to the armrest on the chair. “He’s not dead. But, he’s hurt,” Steve said, looking down at his lap because he couldn’t look at Peter when he said this. “He’s not awake and I’m not sure when he will be awake.” 

“He’s in a coma?” 

“I don’t...yeah, I think. Yeah. He is.” 

“Can I go see him?” Peter asked, his breathing becoming rapid. 

“I don’t know when, Pete. But I’ll take us back to the med-bay and see what they say. We’ll be right there and ready when we’re allowed in. Promise you.” 

“Yeah. Okay. Good.” Then he stared straight ahead. 

“Peter, are you okay?”

“I’m not the one in a hospital bed right now.”

Steve turned back to stare out the windshield as he started the car. “I’ll get us there soon. Don’t worry.” 

_ I’m sorry for letting your dad end up there. _

Peter stayed quiet the entire ride there. He tugged on his shirt so much, he tore a hole in it. Tony always had him sewing up small holes in the hems of Peter’s shirts. Steve just never knew how bad it could get with his fidgeting. They’d have to get him a stress ball to play with instead. 

Steve wanted to reach out and grab his hand, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. “We’re going to be there soon.” 

Silence. 

Silence all the way until they were walking down the hall of the infirmary. “Where is he?”

“I don’t know--.”

“We have to find him.”

“We will, Peter. Just give me a second to find his doctor.” Steve patted his shoulder as he started walking through the hall. Peter followed him like a puppy until they got to a desk where the doctor was scribbling away at his notepad. Steve cleared his throat to catch his attention. 

“Listen, Captain, I told you that I’d let you know when we could let visitors in. It’s not time yet.” 

“Well, then you better tell us where we can wait where we can run to him in less than a minute when we’re allowed. Because I’m his boyfriend and this is his son. You’re not going to be able to keep us far for long.” 

“There are chairs just down here,” the doctor said, leading them down the hallway further. Steve stared at every shut door, wondering which one was the only thing between him and Tony. 

Steve took a seat and sighed heavily. He watched as Peter paced in front of him, mumbling under his breath. “Peter, take a seat. Come on.” 

“I can’t just sit still. I can’t.” 

“Come on, Peter. Please.” He patted the seat next to him. Peter hesitated before taking a seat. Leaving one between him and Steve. Steve tried not to let it bother him as he awkwardly pulled his arm back. 

“I can’t wait any longer. I can’t.” 

“Just give it some time. Try to just calm yourself down or else I’ll have to get you a room of your own.” Steve watched Peter carefully. Tony was always the one that calmed him down. Not Steve. 

Some time turned out to be almost a half-hour of waiting. The hole in Peter’s shirt had gotten noticeably larger. 

“Captain, you can come and see him if you’re ready.” 

“We’ve been ready for hours,” Peter said and Steve didn’t correct him on that because that’s exactly what it felt like. 

Steve stood up and Peter followed him as they walked alongside the doctor. 

“He’s still asleep, but he’s only improved since we brought him in. Just be careful and patient. Only two visitors at a time, but luckily, it’s only you two right now barging down my door.” 

“Do you have any idea when he may wake up?” Peter asked and Steve was grateful for that because he wanted to ask the same thing, despite already getting the answer earlier. 

“We have high hopes, but we can’t promise a thing.” Peter nodded his head but didn’t move from his spot. “Well, I’ll let you both go in. Just press the button if you need me or a nurse.” 

Steve watched as he walked away and then looked over at Peter, who still hadn’t moved. Steve put a hand on his shoulder. “Peter, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” 

Peter shook his head. “No. I want to go in there. I want to see him.” 

“Okay…” 

“Does,” Peter paused to clear his throat. “Does he look different?”

Steve paused to process the question. “Look different? I mean I haven’t seen him yet, but he won’t look too different. He’s just hooked up to a few machines. He may look paler than usual.” 

“Is it scary?”

“If it scares you, that’s okay. I’ll be right here for you.” Steve rubbed his back awkwardly before lowering his hand and opening the door to Tony’s room. Peter didn’t take a step inside until Steve did and he was still hesitant, hiding behind Steve.

Steve kept walking until he was at his side and then took Tony’s hand in his. “Hey, baby. They finally let us in here. Peter is here too. We didn’t want you to be alone.” Steve turned around and glanced at Peter. “You can come over here, bud. Look at him. He’s the same dad you know.” 

Peter nodded his head before walking over and stopping by Steve’s side. He looked almost scared as he stared down at Tony. He’d seen him roughed up after missions but never this bad. 

“You think he can hear us?”

“I think so,” Steve said, squeezing Tony’s hand again. 

“Um, uh...hi, Dad,” Peter started. “Pops and I are here and we’re not going anywhere. Not until you wake up again. We need you here.” 

_ He needs him because I’m not good enough.  _

“Please wake up.” Peter grabbed a chair and took a seat next to him. Steve took a seat behind him to let Peter have his time, even if he wanted to be the one by his bedside. Peter deserved it more. 

Once he was sitting down, he closed his eyes and decided to talk to Tony in his mind. 

_ Tony, you need to wake up. I can’t give Peter what he needs. He needs you. I’m nothing. I can’t make him happy and safe like you did. You need to come back. Please. God, please come back to us.  _

He must have fallen asleep after he was finally sitting and the rush of adrenaline of the mission was gone. The next thing he knew, he was waking up to hearing crying. He wasn’t a heavy sleeper, couldn’t afford to be, but he wasn’t sure why the smallest of sniffles was having him sitting up and wide awake. 

Peter was in front of him, still sitting in the chair. He was leaning forward, crying into his hands. He was doing a poor job of trying to be quiet. “Peter,” was all he said. 

Peter immediately straightened up and turned to look at Steve. “I’m okay,” he said, rubbing at his face. 

“You’re not.” 

“I am. I’m fine.” 

Steve sighed and stepped up, taking only a step forward until he was right by Peter’s side. He kneeled down, wincing at how his knees cracked and popped. “Bud, he’s going to be okay.”

Peter looked at Tony for a moment and didn’t say a word until a moment later he was breaking and his sobs were back full force. “I can’t lose him. I can’t! I can’t lose another one.” 

Steve stood up and reached over to pull his chair over. He was going to need to sit for this. Once he was sitting but close to Peter still, he wrapped an arm around him. “He’s going to be okay. He is I know it.” 

“You can’t promise something like that.” 

Steve nodded his head. “I know I can’t, but you know your dad. You know he wouldn’t leave us like this.” 

“I can’t live without him,” Peter said, wiping his nose on his sleeve. 

“Then, it’s a good thing that you won’t have to. Not yet. Not this soon.” 

“I can’t-- I can’t,” Peter’s voice broke and he dropped his face into his hands to cry again. Steve stuck a hand out and grabbed the chair, turning it so Peter was facing him and the arm of the chair wasn’t between them. 

“It’s okay, shush, bud. It’s okay,” Steve said, rubbing his back to try and help however he could. He wasn’t perfect, but he could try to do what Tony would have done for him. 

But Steve didn’t need to do anything because suddenly, Peter was leaning over and buried his head in his lap. It took Steve by surprise and he lifted his hands, unsure of what to do with them. He looked over at Tony, begging for him to wake up and tell him what he should do. He stayed still. 

So, he looked back down at Peter sobbing in his lap and he took a deep breath. This boy wasn’t just Tony’s boy; he was Steve’s too. Steve could care for him just as much as Tony could...maybe…

“Pete…” He said, his hands still hovering over Peter’s shaking body. He didn’t show any signs of having heard Steve. He cleared his throat and spoke a little louder, “Uh, Pete…” 

Peter didn’t pick his head up or even pause his crying to catch a breath. It couldn’t have been a comfortable position to be in, but he didn’t look to want to move any time soon. Steve, however, was very uncomfortable from the way Peter was pressing his thigh into the armrest and also the fact that this was the first time he ever had a child sobbing as hard as Peter was. 

He wasn’t used to... _ this.  _

But he had to start growing used to it. This was his child now too if he wanted to stay with Tony and God, did he ever. He wanted Tony and Peter more than anything in this world. He should know how to comfort his son when he was upset. 

After a deep breath, he lowered his hands to Peter’s back and did his best to keep the awkwardness out of it. He pulled his hands away a second later, unsure if he was doing it right. But then he looked back down at Peter and saw how badly he was still suffering. He was clinging to him as best as he could, only half leaning over.

Peter didn’t need perfect, he needed his pops. 

Without another thought, he lowered his hands once more and rubbed Peter’s back soothingly. “Alright, bud, why don’t you sit up? You’re going to hurt yourself. Come on.” 

Peter sat up slowly, trying to control his crying and went to go back to comforting himself in his own chair, but Steve tugged him forward. “No, come here. I’ve got a shoulder just for you.” 

Peter didn’t hesitate before leaning into Steve’s side and wrapping his arms around him. Steve wrapped one arm around him and shushed him gently. “It’s gonna be okay, Peter. It will be. No matter what.” 

His shoulders shook as he tried to stop his crying. Steve didn’t rush him to stop crying, just continue to rub his arm and hush him softly. He hoped it was enough for Peter. 

He continued to comfort him until his crying slowly subsided to sniffles and a few hiccups. Steve ruffled his hair and whispered, “How’re you feeling?”

“M’sorry,” he mumbled, wiping his face. 

“You don’t have to apologize. Please don’t.” 

“I’ll be okay,” he said. “He’ll hear me crying and wake up. That’s what dads do.” He leaned deeper into his hold. “It’s what you did.” 

Steve froze, unsure of how to react to that. Peter already put so much faith into him...it scared him. He deserved someone better to look up to and rely on. But for now, Steve was all he had and he was going to do his damned best to make sure that it was good enough for Peter. 

Clearing his throat, Steve said, “You put a pretty big hole in that shirt of yours. We’re going to have to sew that up.” 

“Dad always gets them fixed...I do it too much.” 

“Yeah, I know he does. Seamstress Steve gets the job done.” 

Peter turned to look up at him. “You’re the one that fixes them?”

“Sure do,” Steve said, leaning back in the chair. 

“I didn’t know you knew how to sew,” Peter said, his breathing evening out now that he wasn’t sobbing. 

“My ma taught me how. We used to have to sew our own clothes all the time.” He smiled down at him. “So, rip as many holes in your shirts as you want. I’ll always be happy to sew them up.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome, bud.” 

“You think you can teach me?” Peter asked, settling against Steve’s side and his voice went soft. “Like your mom taught you?” 

“I’d love to, Pete.” Steve let his eyes close shut as he continued to rub his arm, the motion feeling natural already. He smiled. He could definitely get used to this. 

His impromptu nap was keeping him from falling asleep on the chair again, but he kept his eyes closed as he continued to soothe Peter. His smile only deepened when he heard Peter’s breathing even out. He was snoring not long after. 

“You gotta wake up soon, Tony,” he whispered, careful not to wake Peter.

“You wouldn’t believe this. I’m finally being a good dad for Peter-- oh sorry,” he laughed. “I meant Pops. You’re the dad. I’m his Pops…” He looked down at Peter and brushed his fingers through his hair. 

“I always told you that you were meant to be his pops. Just took you some time to see it.” 

Steve’s eyes snapped open and he sat up, looking at the bed Tony was laying in. Now, finally, he was staring back. His eyes were drooping and he looked far from being okay. But he was getting there. “Tony, you’re awake.” 

“Of course, I’m awake. Couldn’t leave you two alone for too long.” 

“Yeah,” Steve said, “Peter needs you.” 

“Peter seems to be in great hands now if you ask me,” Tony said. 

Steve looked down at Peter and then back up at Tony. “You really think so?”

“No,” Tony said, shaking his head. “I know so.” 

Steve grinned as his shoulders sagged in relief. “He likes to cling.” 

Tony laughed. “Oh, yeah. You’ll get used to that real quick. Hope you don’t mind a human leech.” 

“He’s putting a lot into me...I don’t...what if I’m not good enough. He’s just hurt. He was looking for someone to hold onto.”

“You’re more than that to him,” Tony said. “And I can’t wait for the day when you realize it.” 

“Yeah,” Steve said, softly brushing a curl from Peter’s forehead. “I can’t wait either.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed Peter and Steve being so unsure with each other. I love seeing how their relationship develops over time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter has a bad day at school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in my ethics class so it's short but there wasn't much more to this. the next chapter will be longer. I didn't check it over too much so sorry for the typos. I'll fix them when I can

If a stormcloud could literally follow someone overhead, Peter would have at least a dozen that rained down on anyone in his general vicinity. 

Because that was the thing about Peter: when he felt something, so did everyone else. His smile could make anyone smile even on their toughest days, but his broken eyes could just as easily break your heart. 

When Peter came through into the kitchen after school, he wasn’t smiling or crying. He was moody though. 100%. He threw his backpack to the floor and huffed as he took a seat at the island bar, huffing the entire time. 

Just like every other day, Steve had afterschool snacks waiting for Peter when he got home. He pushed the plate closer to him and watched as he grabbed the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, ripping off a bite with his teeth before throwing it back to the plate. 

Steve watched him glare down at his plate for a few minutes before he cleared his throat. “So, how was school, Pete?”

“Great,” he snapped. 

Steve paused, unsure if he should push or not. He and Peter were noticeably closer, but Steve was still adjusting to his role as Pops. “Something tells me that’s a lie.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Now I know that’s a lie. I may not have been your Pops for very long, but I know you well enough to know you’re not fine.” Steve took a seat across from him to show him that he was willing and ready to sit and listen to what happened. 

“I’m fine.” 

Steve once again paused, trying to decide where he wanted to go from here. He had been reading up on parenting books (Especially of teenagers) and a lot of them talked about giving children space when they needed it. But how was he supposed to just leave Peter alone when he was obviously distraught? 

He didn’t know much about Peter and all of his tells just yet, but he knew enough to know that he didn't like to be alone. 

“Did something happen at school? Fight with a friend? Bullies? Stressed? Overwhelmed?” He asked, hoping Peter would respond to at least one of the listed problems. 

Peter started to pick at the crust of the sandwich. He shrugged his shoulders. 

“There has to be something that’s getting you down, bud. You’ve been quiet all week.” 

“It’s embarrassing,” he mumbled, finally. 

“You have no reason to ever feel ashamed in front of me of your dad,” Steve said immediately. “Whatever you think or feel is never going to make us judge you.” Steve paused. “Do you want me to get your dad? Would you feel more comfortable talking to him about this?” 

Peter reached out and grabbed Steve’s wrist right away and looked at him with wide eyes. “No! Please don’t tell him.” 

Steve put a hand over the one holding his wrist and softened his voice. “Okay. I won’t. You’ve got to tell me what’s bothering you though or else I can’t help you.” 

Peter took a deep breath and leaned down to pick up his backpack. He unzipped it and pulled out a wrinkled paper, flipping it upside down on the counter. He took a moment before he was able to push it over to Steve. 

Steve took the paper and flipped it over. It looked like a test with Peter’s name at the top. Next to his name was a big 63% on the paper. “Pete…” 

“I know. Okay. I’m an idiot.” 

“No, you’re not,” Steve said immediately. 

“Yes, I am!” He shouted. “I’m supposed to be smart! I get good grade-- that’s my thing. If I don’t get good grades then I’m nothing!” 

“You’re more than just your grades, Peter. And you’re just as smart as you always have been. One bad grade means nothing.” 

“I’m a failure.” 

“You’re not.” 

“I am! I’m a joke!” Peter said, his voice cracking. 

“You’re the smartest kid at that school,” Steve said. “And one bad grade doesn’t change that. Your dad and I know you’re just as smart. You only get smarter everyday.” 

“I’m an outcast in the academic decathlon and I’m an outcast in school in general. I don’t belong anywhere.” He dropped his head down into his arms and his shoulders began to shake. 

Steve didn’t hesitate before he started rubbing his back. “You belong there, Pete. I know you do.” 

“I don’t,” he said, his voice muffled. “I really don’t.”

“And why not?” 

“Flash saw my grade when the teacher handed it back and he said he’s going to make sure I lose my spot--.” 

“I’d like to see him try,” Steve said, scoffing. “You earned that spot and I’ll be damned if some kid just pushes you out of it. No, sir. I’ll be down at that office so fast their heads will spin.” 

Peter turned his head so he as still resting it on his arms but could look up at Steve. “I appreciate you defending my honor, but you don’t have to go down there. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter. You matter to me.” 

“If you go down there, I’ll be that kid that has his parents fight his battles. They’ll never let me live it down.” 

“I’m not going to let you be treated like that, Peter.” 

“It’s fine. Seriously. I just want them to leave me alone.” 

“Who?” Steve asked, sensing this was more than just the grade upsetting him. 

“Just some kids.” 

“What are they doing?” 

“Nothing.”

“Peter.” 

“It’s fine. I just spent 5th period shoved into a locker today until some kid walked by and heard me having a panic attack, so that was great.” 

Steve felt his heart break at that. “Peter, what….” 

“I’m small. I’m pathetic. It’s fun for the football team.” Peter scrubbed at his eyes again when the tears started to fall. 

“You’re not, Peter. You’re none of those things. They’re just dicks with nothing better to do. They’re jealous of you.” 

“No,” Peter said. “Flash is jealous of me. That much I know. The football team just genuinely enjoys humiliating me.” 

Steve couldn’t argue with that because some people really were just that cruel. “I’m sorry, Pete...is there anything I can do?”

“No. I’m fine. I deal with it.” 

“But you shouldn’t have to.” 

He gave him a sad smile. “Someone has to. Better me than someone else that doesn’t have spidey healing to help with the beatings.” 

Steve shut his eyes, hating thinking about Peter being beat up in school-- a place where he was supposed to be safe. “Even without those powers, you’re a bigger hero than all of us.” 

“I don’t feel like one,” he whispered, sniffling slightly. 

“You are. I promise you are.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter fears the inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, there are talks of death in this chapter.

Steve grinned as he knocked on Peter’s door with the Nerf gun he had in hand. “Psst,” he said in a low voice. “Peter, I’m coming in.” He opened the door and snuck inside his room. 

Peter was sitting on his bed with his legs crossed and pulled up close to his chest. Steve throw one of the Nerf guns on the bed. “Get ready, soldier. Dad’s in the living room and we’re going to ambush him.” 

Usually, Steve wouldn’t even need to open his mouth to get Peter jumping off the bed and grabbing the Nerf gun. But now, he didn’t even look up this time. 

Steve hesitated before taking a seat on the bed. “Pete, you okay, bud?” 

“I finished my comic,” he said, staring down at the Captain America and Iron Man comic he had been waiting for. It was his favorite series to keep up with and this week, they released the last issue. 

“Aw,” Steve said. “Didn’t like the ending?” 

“No,” he replied, shortly. 

Steve chuckled as he reached over and picked up the book, flipping to the end. He skimmed the pages and saw why Peter was so upset. There was him in his Captain America uniform, strewn on the ground, covered by rubble. He was bloody and bruised. Tony, in his Iron Man suit, was kneeling by him, holding his limp body in his arms. There was a bullet hole right through his head. 

He lowered the book on his lap and looked up at Peter. “Pete…” 

“You die,” he whispered. “You took a bullet for Dad even though he’s wearing his suit. Your head. You were gone before Dad could even say goodbye.” He took a shaky breath. “Dad dies the next day because of a broken heart.” 

Steve moved forward and sat right next to him. He wrapped an arm around Peter and pulled him in closer. “Pete, you know that’s not going to happen. We’re extra careful on missions. My helmet is bulletproof too. They just like to make these comics extra dramatic.” 

Peter shrugged his shoulders and Steve knew that wasn’t going to help. Peter always worried about him and Tony going on missions. 

“Peter, I know that’s scary, but you don’t have to worry about it. Not until we get hurt on a mission, but until then, don’t worry. Worrying does nothing.” He rubbed his arm up gently. “You know what it’s like to go on patrol. That’s dangerous too, but you’re always extremely cautious when you’re out there. We are too.” 

“It’s not just the mission,” Peter said, grabbing onto Steve’s shirt with his hand. 

“What else is bothering you, bud?”

“You and Dad are older than me.” 

Steve frowned, trying to figure out what that had to do with anything. “Yeah, we are…” 

“That means eventually, I’m going to lose you. One day, you’re both going to die. And I won't have you anymore.” 

Steve flinched at that. He didn’t expect his teenage son to be worrying about that  _ now.  _ “Having our existential crisis early, huh?”

“It’s stupid,” Peter said, pulling away. 

Steve refused to let him move anywhere. “No, you’re not going, bear. And it’s not stupid.” Peter tried struggling again to get out of his arms, but Steve only held onto him tighter. “Do you want to wrestle? I’ll win.” Peter grunted, trying to push Steve’s hands off of him. Steve grinned. “That’s it.” Then he grabbed Peter’s hands and held them together with one hand while he used his other arm to wrap around his waist and hold him in place. 

“You’re annoying. Leave me alone,” Peter said, his voice breaking.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed. It’s a normal thing to worry about.” 

Peter shook his head, repeating, “Leave me alone.” 

“Nope.”

Peter struggled for another moment before giving in and relaxing in Steve’s hold. “I can’t lose you guys. I can’t. I don’t wanna live after you guys are gone.” 

Steve paused because while he could just brush that off, those words had a heavy meaning behind them. “Pete, you don’t mean that.” 

“I do. I’m tired of losing people. And when you and Dad are gone, there’s nothing left for me.” 

Steve sighed heavily. “Bear, don’t think like that. When we’re old and it’s our time, you’ll be older too. You’ll have a family of your own. What if you’ve got kids of your own? You’re going to leave them?” 

Peter let out a small sob. “That’s not fair.” 

“I know, buddy,” Steve said, hushing him quietly. “But, when it is time, years and years in the future, you’re going to have a love of your own and you’re going to have kids and they’re going to get you through it. Everyone has to lose their parents eventually.” 

Peter let out another sob that he tried to muffle by pressing his face against Steve’s side. 

“You’re not going to be alone though. It’s gonna seem like the entire world is caving in on you, but you’re going to get through it. One day at a time,” Steve said, feeling himself getting choked up at the conversation. 

Peter was his boy in every sense of the word now. Long past were the days of awkwardness and uncertainty between them. They were best buds as if they’d known each other for years. When Steve was looking for advice on parenting in the beginning, a lot of people all told him not be best friends with his child because then it wouldn’t work out when it came time to be authoritative, but Steve disagreed. There had only been a few instances where Peter deliberately disobeyed Steve and they were all at the beginning of their relationship when Peter was still mourning the loss of May. 

But a key to being Peter’s Pops was being his best friend too. Peter felt like he could come to Steve with his problems and not fear anything. He loved to spend time with him, always joining him for midnight snacks and movie nights. He also had respect for Steve that told him to stop when enough was enough. But at the end of the day, they were best friends. Him, Tony, and Peter were as close as any family could get. 

Which was great...except for imagining the day they’d be apart. 

Steve had wondered once, maybe he still did, if the serum stunted his aging. He feared that Tony would grow old without him or that there would be a day when Peter was older than him. But he felt like he was aging...especially with Peter as his son. 

So, he didn’t have to worry about not growing old with Tony. He had to worry about who was going to leave who first. Who was going to have to stay here while the other left? And which one of them was going to truly leave Peter all alone? 

“I don’t want to get through it. I know I can’t take it. I don’t want to.” Peter shook his head. “No one can replace you guys.”

“You don’t have to replace us...but I don’t want you to be miserable. You’re strong. You’ll be okay.”

“You can’t promise that,” Peter said. 

“Maybe not, but I know you. You’ve been through it before,” he said, running his fingers through Peter’s hair. It calmed Peter down, but it also helped Steve with his own worrying. It was soothing. “God made you one of his toughest soldiers.” 

“Tell God to stop taking everyone away from me.” 

“I can’t do that, Pete…” Steve sighed. “I don’t know His plan, but I think He’s keeping Dad and me in your life for a long time to come.”

“I don’t want to have to say goodbye.” 

“How lucky am I,” Steve said in his best Pooh Bear impression, “to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” 

Peter let out a surprised laugh at that and Steve counted it as a win. “There’s that laugh. Can I see the smile to go with it?”

Peter turned his head up and even through his watery eyes, he gave Steve a small smile. 

Steve tweaked his nose. “There it is. There’s my bear’s smile. That same smile I plan to see for a hundred more years.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave my crisis to Peter ha


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets asked out on a date with a cheerleader. It ends how you'd expect it to.

“Hold still, baby,” Tony said as he ran his fingers through Peter’s hair. “I’m almost done.” 

“It looks good?” Peter asked, obviously nervous. 

“You look fine,” Steve said, rolling his eyes. “As I’ve been saying.” 

“He’s just getting himself ready,” Tony said, taking a step back to see how Peter’s hair looked. He had spent the last five minutes and way too much gel trying to get Peter’s hair tamed. 

Peter turned to Steve and smiled. “How does my hair look, Pops?” 

Truthfully, Steve didn’t like it. Not because he didn’t look handsome, but because it just wasn’t _Peter._ Peter was wild curls and nerdy t-shirts, not gelled hair and button-down shirts. But he didn’t say that because Peter was excited about this. Steve would never be the reason that smile left his face. “You look great, bud.”

“Thank you,” Peter said, grinning. “She said it was a nice restaurant so I don't want to be underdressed.”

“You sure you don’t want us to drive you there? It won’t be a problem,” Tony said, straightening the tie Peter was wearing. 

“I’m sure. I’m just going to take the subway.”

“It’s gonna be fine, bud,” Steve said, walking over to Peter and putting a hand on his shoulder. “And if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. You tried and that’s all you can do on your first date.”

Peter nodded his head with an anxious smile. “I hope it goes well. I’m still surprised she asked me out.”

As horrible as it sounded, so was Steve. When Peter came home from school and said that a cheerleader wanted to go out on a date with him, Steve was a little weary. Peter wasn’t typically what a cheerleader wanted...Peter was the kid they laughed at as their football pals beat him up. But he wasn’t going to voice his fears to Peter. He was going to keep his hopes up. “I hope it goes well too, Pete.”

“I’ll text you during it to let you know how it’s going,” he said with a grin. 

“Don’t text too much. You’re on a date,” Tony warned. 

“Okay, okay,” he said. “I won’t text too much.” 

“Good. Go have fun.” 

Peter smiled and hurried to the elevator. He smiled at them as the door shut and brought him downstairs.

“Please go easy on our baby,” Steve said, looking up to the ceiling. Tony grabbed his hand and squeezed it as he gave him a smile. 

* * *

Peter took Tony’s advice a little too seriously. He didn’t text them once during the entire date. Even, three hours later, they still heard nothing from Peter. Tony said that was a good sign. His bad dates-- when he was still a bachelor playboy-- didn’t last longer than the first hour. 

They were still waiting in the living room when Peter came through the door. Tony was on his feet and rushing over to Peter immediately. He faltered when Peter ran right past him, down the hallway and towards his room. 

“Peter, what’s wrong?”

“Leave me alone!” He yelled, loud enough for his voice to carry to the living room. 

Tony looked over to Steve. “Steve, something happened.” 

Steve sighed, wishing he wasn’t expecting this. “I’ll go see what’s wrong. I’ll calm him down.”

Nodding his head, Tony said, “Yeah, go ahead. I’ll be right here. I don’t want to overwhelm him.”

Steve nodded his head and followed Peter up to his bedroom. When he got to his door, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door. “Peter, can you open the door for me?”

“No. Don’t come in!” He shouted and Steve heard something make a loud bang inside the room. 

Steve held his breath, waiting to hear anything after that. “Peter?” Nothing. He knocked on the door more frantically. “Peter, what was that?”

“Don’t worry about that,” Peter answered before the sound came again. 

“Peter, what are you doing?”

“I’m just getting out of these stupid clothes!” He yelled, louder than necessary. “I’m going to bed! So don’t worry about me!” 

“You know you’re giving me many reasons right now to do the exact opposite.” Steve had his hand on the doorknob ready to rip it off if he needed. 

“I’m fine,” Peter grunted before there was another bang and Steve decided he was not fine enough for him to break his way into the room. Tony would forgive him for it later. He summoned all of his super-soldier strength and shoved himself against the door, causing it to break open. 

His eyes immediately searched around the room until he found Peter, sitting on his bedroom floor with his back against his bed. He looked over Peter making sure he wasn’t hurt and didn’t see anything broken around his room. His shoes were across the room, so he guessed that was the source of two of the bangs. The other one was probably him throwing something else in his frustration, but as long as he wasn't hurt, Steve really didn't care at the moment. 

But Peter also saw Steve and apparently, he didn’t want to see him there because he was one his feet a second later. Steve could see the tears streaming down his face“I said to leave me alone!” He yelled, jumping to his bed and running over to the en suite bathroom. 

Steve didn’t want him locking another door between them, so he ran right after him and grabbed his hand before he could get inside. “Peter, stop it.” 

“I said I wanted to be alone.” Peter tried pulling his hand out of Steve’s grip, but Steve held on tight. 

“I don’t care about what you want. I care about what you need.” Steve tugged on Peter's wrist so he came closer to him and away from the open bathroom door. “And you need to calm down.”

Peter just tried to push him away even more, but Steve pulled him even closer until he was pressed against his chest in a tight embrace that he wasn’t getting out of it. That didn't sotp him from struggling, though. A lot. Steve let him try as much as he could but didn’t let him win. He knew he’d eventually give up.

For now, he was just going to let him get his tears and anger out of his system. There was no way he could have a conversation with him like this. Not when he was smacking his hand against Steve’s chest and sobbing to hard for Steve to understand what he was saying. Steve hushed him softly, even if Peter probably couldn’t hear it over himself. 

He started to lead him back towards the bed and sat down on the edge. Peter tried fighting that too, but he didn’t stand much of a chance. Steve held him behind his head and pulled him forward so he was leaning on his shoulder. Peter pushed against him some more. “I shouldn’t have gone on that stupid date.”

“You’re okay. It’s going to be okay.” 

“No! It’s not! I’m never going to that stupid school again!” 

“If you don’t want to, that’s okay,” Steve said, even though he knew that’s not what they were going to decide. But it was what Peter needed to hear. “We’ll find a new school for you. You’ll never have to go back.” 

“I never want to see another football player or cheerleader ever again.” 

“You won’t have to if you don’t," Steve said, knowing that half of these requests were going to be gone when he cleared his head. 

“I don’t ever want to see anyone ever again. Nobody except you and Dad. I’m never going back to any school!” 

“Steve sighed. “Peter, you can’t hide in here. You have friends that would miss you--.” 

“No, I don’t! I don’t have any friends! Everyone at that school hates me! I’m just there to be made fun of! You can’t ever make me go back!” Peter screamed some more, sounding a bit childish as he did so. But Steve didn't mind. He was a child. _His _child. 

“Oh, Pete…”

“Never again!”

“We can look into homeschooling. If that’s what you really want.” 

“I don’t want that!” Peter yelled. 

“Okay, then tell me what you want, kiddo. I’ll do anything I can.” 

Peter grabbed tightly onto Steve’s shirt, grabbing some skin with it. Steve didn’t push him away, he only winced. He let him continue to get his anger out anyway. “I just want to be normal! I want to go to school and have friends and not worry about being jumped in the bathroom! I want to be able to go on dates and not sit at the table waiting for her to come until I’m kicked out of the restaurant!” 

Steve’s eyes widened at that...Peter was stood up. That was why he came back so upset. “Peter, sweetie...”

That was all it took for Peter’s anger to dissipate and he sagged in Steve’s arms. Steve held him tighter or else Peter would have probably fallen to the floor. But Steve kept his hold on him and leaned them both against the pillows.  Peter wasn’t fighting him anymore, but he needed the support. He held Peter as close as he could. Peter cried against him, struggling to take in a breath. Steve rubbed his back to try and calm him down. “You’re okay, Peter. You’re okay.” 

“It was so embarrassing,” Peter sobbed. “I was just waiting there and I thought she’d come, but she didn’t. I just sat there and I knew-- I knew that she tricked me, but I didn’t want to believe it. I left the restaurant and just wandered the city.” 

“I'm sorry, Peter,” Steve said, hating that this happened. As his father, he wanted to protect everything from hurting him. He should be able to go out without worrying about him coming home in tears because a classmate was cruel. 

“I’m never going out again. Never. I’m going to die alone.” 

Steve poked his side gently and teased, “Oh, come on, Pete. You’re not going to die alone. You’ll always have me and Dad.” 

“That doesn’t count,” he grumbled, followed by a loud sniffle. 

“Well, if you hole yourself up here like a hermit, how do you expect to meet anyone else?” 

“I’m not going to. That’s the point.” 

Steve sighed. “Peter, the girl that asked you out today...she’s a bitch. Not everyone in this world is a bitch. She wasn’t good enough for you anyway.” 

“I should have known! She’s a cheerleader, Pops. I thought...I thought she actually liked me and that was so stupid. I’m so stupid.” 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You took a chance and I’m proud of you.” Steve found himself smiling just barely. “You can’t be angry at yourself for going after what you think is your league. I never thought your Dad would say yes when I asked him out. He was  _ way  _ out of my league. Still is.” 

“He is not,” Peter said, sounding seriously offended that Steve would say that. 

“Are you kidding? He’s Tony Stark, Peter. Tony freaking Stark.” Steve scoffed, still shocked that he was in a serious relationship with Tony Stark. Hell, they were raising a kid together. 

“And you’re Steve freaking Rogers,” Peter argued. 

Steve paused as he stared down at him before saying, “And  _ you’re  _ Peter freaking Parker. You’re better than some high school cheerleader. She’s peaking right now, Pete. These are the best years of her life and after she graduates, it’s only going to go downhill.”

“So am I. Except I never got too high and I never will.” 

“Don’t say that. This is just a bad day. You’re going to have great days. A great life. One day, you’ll be with your person and you’ll be laughing at this. She’ll probably be drunk at some bar, looking for some guy to even look her way. 3 kids at home from 3 different dads. No job. No friends. Let’s give her lots of student loans from an expensive college she failed out of. Nothing stable in her life.” 

Peter laughed. “Wow, you’re really screwing her over, huh?” 

Steve nodded his head. “Yeah, I can see the future. That’s what I see. Except maybe the kiddos. They don’t deserve to be stuck with her. I’ll give her luck in the birth control part of her life. No kids."

“Oh, yeah, you really showed her,” Peter said, rolling his eyes with a smile. 

“I just took the kids out of her life. I think that’s the worst punishment she could ever get. Kids are the best.” Steve thread his fingers through Peter’s hair, trying to break up some of the gel as he made a face.

Peter looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, really?” 

“Now that I’ve got you, I can’t imagine life without you, buddy.” 

“You’re only saying that to make me smile.” 

Steve shrugged his shoulders “I am saying that to make you smile, but that doesn’t mean it’s a lie. It just means I don’t like to see you sad.”

“I don't like to _be_ sad,” Peter said quietly. 

“Good. We’re on the same page then.” Steve laughed, ruffling his hair again, this time rough enough to make Peter swat his hands away and try to fix the mess he made. “I would do anything to keep you happy. And if that means, finding a new school where no one would ever think about bullying you, then I would spend all the time and money I had to make that true.” 

Peter didn’t say a word as he stared down at his lap, his cheeks turning pink. 

“And if you want to be homeschooled, I will support you 100%. We’ll get you the best schooling for you. But...I think you should think it over. Maybe give it a few days.” 

“I don’t want to go back there,” he whispered. “They’re just going to laugh and I hate it when they laugh at me….” 

Steve’s smile disappeared as he pulled Peter closed, shutting his eyes. He just held him for a moment before he said, “I wish they didn’t, Peter. God, I wish they didn’t torment you. If I could stop them I would.” 

“I’m just the most fun to pick on I guess.” Peter shrugged his shoulders. “Sometimes it’s easier to ignore it. This...this was just really bad.” 

“You know they’re only doing it because they see a reaction.” 

“I-I try not to react,” Peter defended himself. “But when the entire cafeteria is laughing at you because you’re covered in food a football player dropped on your lap...it’s hard.” 

“I’m not saying it’s easy,” Steve said immediately. “And I'm not blaming you. I’m just saying, if you go in there tomorrow and keep that head held high, then you’ll win. If anyone asks, just say you’re relieved she didn’t show up. You only agreed to go out because you pitied her.” 

Peter looked up at him, raising his eyebrows. “Seriously?”

“Oh, yeah. She wants to play dirty, you play dirty right back” 

Peter laughed. “What about being the bigger person?” 

“There are plenty of other times for that. For this, you’re going to go in there with a smile.” Steve paused. “And you know what else? You’re riding to school in style. I’m taking you in on my bike.” 

Peter perked up. “Really?”

“Oh, yeah. What’s cooler than riding to school on a motorcycle with Captain America?”

Peter laughed again. “Nothing’s cooler than that.” 

“So, do we have a deal? Bike to school tomorrow and then you do nothing but smile. You can come home and get all the tears out again if needed. But don’t let them see that they get to you. Don’t give them the satisfaction or the chance to see that. I’m your shoulder to cry on. Not them.” 

“Yeah, I do cry to you a lot…sorry.” 

“No need to apologize, Peter. I’m glad that you trust me enough to show me this side of you. I’m not brave enough to let anyone see me cry” 

Peter stared at him with wide eyes. “You cry?”

Furrowing his brows, Steve nodded his head. “Uh, yeah. I’m a human being. So I cry.”

“I didn’t know you cried….” 

“I cry all the time,” Steve said and even if that weren’t true, he wanted Peter to feel less alone. “Maybe not as much as a hormonal teenage son of mine....but enough. It’s good to cry.” 

“I’m not hormonal,” Peter argued. “I’m just...emotional.” 

“Whatever you say, bud.” Steve rubbed his arm. 

Peter leaned against his side and hummed. “Good. Don’t doubt me.” 

“Never. Now, what do you say we get downstairs and have some dinner? Dad is waiting for us.” 

“I just want to get out of these clothes first,” Peter said, already tugging at his tie. 

“And that gel." Steve pulled at a lock of hair hardened by the gel. "I miss my little buddy.” 

Peter rolled his eyes. “You go to the kitchen and get dinner ready. I’ll be down soon and you’ll have your little buddy back.” 

Steve grinned at him. “I can’t wait.” 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter loses someone on patrol

“Look at him go, Tony!” Steve said, patting his arm excitedly. They had been watching the breaking news segment since it came on, showing Spider-Man saving people from a burning apartment building. 

“I see him, honey.” Tony’s voice had some worry about it, but Steve didn’t blame him. Every time Spider-Man ran back into the building to save another person, Steve grabbed Tony’s hand and squeezed it until he came back out.

“He’s doing so well.” Steve smiled as he watched Spider-Man hand over the child in his arms to a firefighter. Then he turned back around and ran back in. Steve grabbed Tony’s hand, his heart pounding. 

_ “As you can see, Spider-Man has gone back into the building another time. There are reports that there is one more person in the building and despite the FDNY’s warnings that the building was too far gone to go in, our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man doesn’t care. Not when he can save a life.” _

“Come on, Spidey,” Steve muttered. “You’ve got this, buddy.” 

They both wait with bated breath as they stare at the TV screen, waiting for Spider-Man to come back out. Unfortunately, he never came back out before the windows were exploding out and the building was collapsing in on itself. 

“No!” Tony shouted, jumping off the couch. Steve let go of his hand when he did because he was afraid if he didn’t he would have broken it from squeezing it so hard. “Peter!” 

Steve came up behind him, placing his hands on his shoulders. “He’s going to be okay, Tony. He always is.” _ Please be okay, Peter. _

They waited for what felt like hours before he finally came out of the rumble...empty-handed. He was limping out and avoiding all the paramedics and firefighters trying to get him over to an ambulance. 

“He’s hurt, Steve. He’s hurt!” 

_ A building just fell on him, Tony. He’s bound to be hurt. _“He’ll be okay, Tony. He knows to come back home.” 

Steve was worried more about the fact that he came back out without the person he went in to save. 

_ “You saw it first here, folks. Spider-Man’s first failure at saving a life.” _

* * *

“He’s supposed to come back,” Tony said, panicked. “He knows he’s supposed to come right home after he’s hurt on patrol.” 

“I know, love, but you saw what happened. He needs to just clear his mind.”

“He needs to get here now! Who knows what’s wrong with him under that suit!” Tony was pacing a hole in the floor. He shook his head. “I’m bringing up the tracker in his suit.”

Steve wasn’t going to argue that because he wanted to know where he was too. He stood next to Tony when he finally stopped walking and brought up the tracker. They both frowned at the location. 

“Here? How is he here?” Tony wondered out loud. 

“He’s sitting on the roof,” Steve said quietly, already walking towards the elevator. 

“The roof?” Tony shouted. “What is he doing up there?”

“He’s upset, Tony. He wants to come home, but he’s not ready to face anyone just yet. I’ll go up and see how he’s doing.” 

“Let me come with you,” Tony said, grabbing onto his wrist. 

Steve shook his head. “I don’t want him to feel overwhelmed. And you’re worried out of your mind. That will only make him more worried, feeding off you.” 

Tony hesitated but nodded his head anyway. “Just go up there and bring him back down to me.” 

Steve pressed a kiss to Tony’s cheek. “I will. Don’t you worry.” Then he walked over to the elevator and took it all the way to the roof. When he got u to the roof, he knew exactly where Peter was sitting. He liked to come up here when he needed to think or clear his mind. He liked to be closer to the stars. 

Sure enough, Peter was sitting where he always sat, his legs dangling over the side of the roof. Even though Steve knew that Peter just liked the distance from everything else in the city, it still scared him seeing him sit that close. 

He made some noise as he walked so he wouldn't startle Peter. He’d already told him on occasions that his spidey sense never told him when Steve or Tony was coming up behind him because his body didn’t recognize them as a danger. 

Taking a seat next to him, he took a moment to see if Peter would speak up first. He didn’t even move from his spot. Steve glanced over at him, taking in his soot-covered suit. There weren’t any holes or tears in the costume because of course, Tony Stark made his son’s suit fire resistant. 

Steve broke the silence by asking the only real thing that mattered. “Are you hurt?” Peter didn’t answer and Steve wasn’t going to accept that. “Peter, are you hurt?”

“M’fine,” he grumbled. 

Steve knew that maybe he was physically, but mentally was another story. “Still, bud, you know the deal. After a patrol like this, you have to come straight home and get checked out. Dad’s worried sick.” 

“Why? ‘Cus I fucked up?”

Steve winched, hearing a curse, especially the ‘F’ word come out of Peter’s mouth. He decided this wasn’t the best time to scold him for his language. “You didn’t mess up, Peter.”

“I couldn’t-- I didn’t save her,” he said, his voice shaking. 

“You did your best. That’s all you could’ve done,” Steve eyed him carefully as he began to shake. He wanted to just pull him in a hug and let him cry for as long as he needed, but he didn’t think that was going to fix it this time.

“I heard her screaming for help. _ I heard her. _But, when I went back in, she was quiet and then the building fell and I couldn’t find her in there. Karen said there weren’t any more heat signatures in there that were a life.”

Steve knew what it felt like to hear someone call out for help and not be able to save them. He never wanted his son to. “Peter, you saved so many others.” 

“I didn’t save enough! Why are their lives more important than hers?” He yelled, his voice cracking. 

“They weren’t, but they’re still important. Better to save most than none.” 

“I don’t want to save _most._ I want to save them all.”

Steve knew that Peter could handle being Spider-Man. He was strong enough to take care of himself in a battle, but other times, he wished he didn’t have to be. He was a kid. A kid with a heart that was maybe just a bit too big. “I know, Pete, but you can’t always save everyone. That’s the harsh reality of being a hero. You can save some, but you can’t save them all.” 

Peter leaned forward and Steve’s heart skipped a beat as he reached out and grabbed his arm. But he wasn’t about to fall, he was only hiding his face in his hands. He didn’t react to Steve’s hand on him. Steve could see his shoulders shake as the whites on his mask disappeared. “It’s not fair,” he cried in a low voice. “It’s not fair!”

Steve moved his hand from holding his arm to grabbing one of the hands covering his face. “I know, bear. I wish I could do something about it, but I can’t.”

“How do I even go back out there? After everyone saw me fail to save someone?” Peter’s hand clung to Steve’s as he turned to stare up at him, the whites of his eyes opened and even though it was a mask, Steve could see the pleading in them. Peter always looked to Steve and Tony like they had all the answers in the world.

“Just like you always do, kid,” he said. “You’re a hero still. You go out there and save the day again. Remind them of all the good you do and if anyone gives you shit about this, do not listen to them.” 

Peter let out another small sob. “I can already see all of the shit Jameson’s going to be saying.” 

Steve narrowed his eyes. “What did I just say?”

“But, you know he always has something to say. Except this time, I’ve actually done something wrong.” 

“And _ you know _that his show is banned from our household. So, I don’t ever want you listening to a word he says.” Steve sighed and softened his voice. “Pete, you didn’t do this on purpose. The public knows that. Queens knows that.”

“No one will ever trust me to save them again.” 

Steve frowned and used his other hand to pull the mask off his head. 

“Hey!” Peter said, going to reach for it, but Steve held it out of his reach. 

“I’m talking to Peter now, not Spider-Man,” Steve said in his firmest voice. He waited for Peter’s red eyes to settle on his before continuing. “Do you trust me?”

He blinked, scrunching his face in confusion. “Trust you? What do you mean?”

“Do you trust me, Peter?” He repeated, not expanding on what he meant. 

Peter answered, even if the confusion was still clear on his face. “Yeah. Of course, I trust you.”

“But why? I’ve failed to save people before. Quite more than one. Hundred probably. Maybe even some died as a result of something I did on a mission. I saved some at the expense of others. Do you still trust me?”

“I do,” Peter said again. “But that’s different because I’m your son. You’d always put me in before everything. Even yourself.”

Steve nodded his head, unable to argue with that. “Fine. Do you think that people should still put their faith in Captain America? Do you have faith in me when I go out on a mission? Or do you just expect me to fail like I’ve one time and time again before?”

This time, Peter wasn’t so quick with an answer. He frowned as his shoulders slumped. “I hate when you do that.”

“What put things in perspective to stop you from overreacting?”

“Yeah.” Peter sighed. “I know you’re right, but I still can’t help but think that people will hate me now because of it...like I hate myself.” 

Steve immediately pulled Peter in close so that he was curled up against his side, secure under his arm. “Oh, Peter. You shouldn’t hate yourself. No one else will. No one that matters will hate you.” 

“I’m supposed to save people. I’m supposed to...but she died.” 

“I know, bud. But that wasn’t your fault. _ It wasn’t.” _ If Peter was anything like Steve (and he was), he’d dream about that woman for the rest of his life. Maybe after a while, not as frequently, but once in a while, the nightmare would return. He’d never forget the first life he lost. The best Steve could do was be there for him through it.

“When does it stop feeling like it is?”

“It doesn’t,” Steve answered honestly. “But soon, that feeling is just going to motivate you to save even more people. But you’ll never forget the ones that you lose. I’d be worried if you did.” 

“It hurts...and it was just one person. I can’t handle more.” 

“You’ve already lost more than one person, Pete.” _ Your mom. Your dad. Your uncle. Your aunt. _“You’re stronger than you think.”

“You and your Winnie the Pooh quotes.” Peter laughed softly, holding to Steve tighter. 

“I’ve got one for every occasion.” Steve ran a hand through his hair and they sat there quietly together for a moment. “Hey, Pete…”

“Hm?”

“Whaddya say we get inside and go ease Dad’s worrying. You could use a shower too.” He stunk of sweat and fire. 

“Just one problem…” Peter said hesitantly. 

“What’s that?” Steve said, trying not to get worried. 

“I lied before about not being hurt. I think I sprained my ankle when the building came down. I can’t really walk on it.” 

Steve was relieved to hear it was only a sprained ankle. Peter’s had that before and it healed in no time. It could have been so much worse. He stood up and squatted down just in front of him. “Hop on, bud. Next stop: infirmary.”

Peter did so and just like he knew he would, he laughed and said, “Giddy up, Papa.” 

“Peter, how many times do I have to threaten to drop you before you stop treating me like a pony?”

“You won’t drop me.” He held onto him tighter, laying his head down on his shoulder.

"How do you know?" Steve asked, even though he was right.

“I trust you. Remember?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter goes off to college.

“Tony, you can’t stay here forever,” Steve said with his eyebrows raised. 

Tony continued to fix the figurines on Peter’s desk, even though they were all exactly where Peter wanted them to be. “I’m just fixing up here. Then I’ve got to say goodbye.” 

“You gotta pick up the pace a little bit if you want to beat the rush hour traffic.”

“Yeah,” Peter said softly, tugging at the hem of his shirt. Steve looked away quickly. He knew Peter didn’t want them to leave any more than they did. “We’re okay here, Dad. You don’t have to worry.” 

Tony stopped messing around with Peter’s desk to come over to him and pull him in for a hug. He squeezed him tight and Peter’s arms wrapped around Tony just as tightly and just as quickly. “I love you, bambino,” he whispered, his voice cracking. 

“I love you too, Dad,” Peter answered with a small sniffle. 

They held each other for a few moments before Tony pulled away and sniffed, trying to get his emotions under control. “I’m really proud of you. And if you need us, at any time, call and you know we’ll be here in no time.” 

Peter laughed. “No taking private jets to my campus, Dad. Or Iron Man suits.” 

“But if you just need a cheering up, I don’t mind.” 

“I’ve got Harry. You’re not leaving me alone.” He gave him a small smile. 

Harry was standing by Steve, watching them say goodbye. Getting to his point had involved many misunderstandings and frustration, but it was worth it to be here now. Peter always talked about MIT and that was his dream school...until it came time to start applying. Suddenly, MIT wasn’t on the list. Actually, anything outside of the 5 boroughs wasn’t on the list. Peter wanted to commute, but Steve and Tony knew he only wanted to commute because he didn’t want to leave home. He had almost decided on Colombia, but after Steve and Tony sat him down and talked to him about why he needed to go out there and experience the world. If he stayed in New York, even if he dormed on campus, he’d be coming home at any possible chance.

Harry was a different story. He didn’t have the same qualms about going far. He just wanted to follow Peter, but he didn’t think he would have been able to get into any of the colleges Peter was looking at. Harry wasn’t a genius like Peter was, but he was still smart. Which is why Steve had been shocked when he announced that he wasn’t even going to college. He was just going to follow Peter and get a job wherever he ended up. Steve was not letting Harry destroy his own future just because he didn’t think he was smart enough (when he obviously was). 

In the end, MIT offered them both a scholarship. Peter got an academic scholarship and Harry got an athletic scholarship.

Peter was still nervous about leaving home and not having Tessa to sleep with anymore. They were able to bring Gushers in the move, but Tessa and Stitch had to stay home. Fish were allowed in rooms...cats and dogs not so much. 

If he had come here without Harry, Steve would have been nervous. But he had Harry. That was good. The first thing they did when they got into their new dorm room was push the two beds together so they had one big bed. 

Steve knew he was leaving him in safe arms. 

“Harry’s gonna take good care of him,” Steve said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him in for a side hug. Steve knew he was going to because he already sat Harry down and told him he better watch out for Peter here. Harry laughed at the fact that Steve even felt like he needed to ask. 

“You know I will.” 

“And I’ll take good care of Harry,” Peter said, looking at Tony to try and reassure him. “We’ll look out for each other.” 

“I know you will, baby,” Tony said, pulling Peter in to drop a kiss to the top of his head. “You’re gonna be just fine. It’s me that I’m worried about.” 

“You’ve got Pops,” Peter said. “He’s good at calming you down when you gotta cry. Trust me, I know.” 

“He’s right, love. We can get home and you can cry in my arms all night long.” Steve smiled over at him as he reached out his hand. 

Tony rolled his eyes fondly. “Don’t think I won’t take you up on that offer.” He let go of Peter reluctantly before walking over to Harry. He pulled him in for a tight hug too. “I”m gonna miss you too, Harry.” 

Harry was never as touchy as Peter was, but he still needed a hug of his own from time to time. This was one of those times. “We’ll be back before you know it, Dad.” 

“I know...but it’s not the same.” 

“I love you, Dad,” he said in a low voice because Tony was his Dad. Not because Steve had a feeling that kid was going to be their son in law one day, but because they loved him just like they loved Peter. And if Norman was too much of a dumbass to see how amazing his son was, then Steve and Tony weren’t going to make that same mistake. 

“Love you too, coniglio.”

“Alright, alright, let me get my hugs before we go,” Steve said, feeling his own throat growing a lump at it all. 

Peter ran over to him within a second and wrapped his arms around him. It only took Seve a moment before he returned the hug. “Hey, there, bud.” Peter didn’t say a word back as he continued to hide his face in Steve’s chest. “It’s okay, Pete...” 

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“And I’m gonna miss you too, sweetie. But you’re going to be okay. You know you can come home if you need. And if it’s too hard without Tessa, we’ll figure something out. We can register her as an emotional support animal.” 

Peter shook his head. “No, I can handle it...I want her to stay with you guys. She’d get lonely here when I’m in class.” 

“Well, if you change your mind, just let us know.”

“What if I change my mind about college…” Peter asked in a quiet voice. 

Steve hoped he didn’t and he knew he wouldn’t. Not after he got used to the new environment. “If you change your mind, then you finish up the semester and then you are free to come home and go to a local school.” 

“Okay…” 

“You got this, bear. I’m so proud of you.” 

Peter smiled up at him. “Thanks, Papa.” 

“No problem, bud.” He closed his eyes and squeezed Peter even tighter. He held him so tightly that he lifted him a few inches off the ground and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you, baby bear.”

“I love you more.” 

“I love you most-- and don’t you try to argue this. You know we’ll be here all night.” He ruffled Peter’s hair. “Now give me a kiss for the road.” 

Peter laughed and stood up his tippy toes while Steve leaned down and he kissed Steve’s cheek. 

“Alright, Harry, let me get your hug and kiss before we go. We gotta get home in time to feed the dogs.” Steve found it hard to let go of Peter, knowing that was the last hug he was going to be getting from him for a few weeks at least. 

“I love you, Pops. Try not to get into too much trouble when we’re gone.” Harry teased as he gave him his hug. 

Steve needed the laugh. “I should be saying that to you two. Have fun but not too much fun. And look out for each other.” Peter wasn't the only one that needed watching out for, even though the protectiveness in Steve always wanted someone to keep an eye on him. He could easily handle himself and Harry. 

“Don’t worry, we won’t be going to any wild parties involving underage drinking and hard drugs.” Harry rolled his eyes with a smile. 

“Speak for yourself. I’m gonna live it up.” 

Steve whipped his head around to glare at him, even though he knew Peter was just being a shit. “You will not be. Just because you’re in a different state now doesn’t mean I won’t hesitate to drive 4 hours to make sure you’re not being a total moron.” 

“You know he’s not being serious, honey,” Tony said. “You need friends to be invited to a party.” 

Steve laughed loudly when Tony’s jab caught him off guard. “Oh, he got you good, boy!” 

Peter pouted at both of them. “You’re mean.”

“You’re gonna miss us,” Steve said, still chuckling. 

Despite the mirth in his voice, Peter answered him seriously. “Yeah, I really am.” 

“Oh, I need another hug,” Tony said before rushing forward and wrapping his arms around Peter. “I’m gonna miss this.”

Steve turned to Harry and shook his head. “This is going to be a while.”

* * *

They didn’t get back to the tower until a few hours later, just in time for bed. Tony was already waiting for him in their room. Steve told him he was going to get Tessa and bring her into their room. The poor girl was still waiting for Peter to come home. She didn’t understand. 

He opened up Peter’s door, Tessa’s name dying on his lips when he saw the room. It wasn’t empty because Peter was still going to live there when he came home, but it wasn’t lived in. Not by Peter’s standards. His bed was made and there wasn’t one Lego on the floor as Steve walked inside. There was  _ always _ a maze of Lego pieces to avoid. 

Tessa was curled up on his bed and started whining when she saw Steve come in. Steve sat down on the edge of his bed and began to pet Tessa. “Hey, princess, are you waiting for Peter?”

At the sound of his name, she got up and started to whine louder. 

“I know, princess. I miss him too…”

No more making pancakes for him on the weekends, no more  _ Star Wars  _ marathons, no more midnight snacking in the kitchen…

Peter wasn’t gone forever, but he wasn’t home. 

He’d come and visit for holidays and summertime, but it wouldn’t be long until he graduated and Harry and Peter bought an apartment of their own. Then he’d come in and he’d pack up the rest of his stuff, including those glow in the dark star on his ceiling and leave for good. 

He had gotten so used to having Peter in the tower that he never realized how much he’d miss it when he was gone. Especially him and his antics that usually just got Steve all worked up. He wished Peter was here to be a little shit again. 

“Hey, love, you okay?”

Steve looked up and saw Tony standing in the doorway. He cleared his throat and said, “Yeah, Tessa is just a little upset.” 

Tony started walking in and took a seat next to Steve. “It’s okay for her to be upset. She misses Peter.” 

Steve looked down at the  _ Star Wars  _ bedspread they were sitting on. One pillow was covered with a matching pillowcase and the other was covered with a  _ Jurassic Park  _ pillowcase. He missed his boys too. “It’s not fair,” he said in a low voice. 

“She’ll be better here with us, love. She has Bree and Dodger to keep her company. Those college dorms are way too small for a dog. Especially Tessa.” 

Steve shook his head with a grunt. “No. Not for her. Me. It’s not fair for me.” 

Tony put his hand over Steve’s. “Why is that?”

“I only got him for a few years. Only three and now he’s gone.” His voice was getting choked up even though he tried to fight the lump growing in his throat. 

“He’s not dead, Steve. He’s only at college. He can visit us as much as he wants. We can go visit him too.” Tony scooted himself closer to Steve and pressed against his side. 

“First it’s college and then he’s graduating and moving in with Harry and then they’re going to get full-time jobs and then they’re gonna get married and then have kids of their own...I'll never see him like I used to. He’ll be grown up. He won’t have time for his old man.” 

“We both know that it’s not going to be like that. He can’t stay away from us and this tower has over a hundred floors. We can give them a few of their own and it’ll be just like they’re in another apartment. We have no idea where they’re going to go.” 

“What if he moves? New York isn’t big for sharks, Tony. If he wants to set up his own conservatory, then he’s gotta go where he can find sharks. That’s far.” 

Tony had a solution for everything and he didn’t sound at all upset like Steve was feeling. “Then we follow him. We’ve got enough money to have another house wherever he settles. We’ll figure it out, hun.” 

Steve shook his head. He didn’t want to have to figure it out. He just wanted to keep him in this arm, as a kid, forever. He let out a small sob when he finally couldn’t hold it back anymore. “How can it be time already?”

Tony wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in closer. “I know. Time flies.” 

“I never got to watch him grow up from the beginning. I only met him at 15. Feels like just yesterday. And now...now he’s off to college. Ready to start his life...without us.” He wiped at his eyes trying to get them to stop crying, but he couldn’t get a hold of himself. 

“He’s not starting his life without us. We both know Peter. He’s going to be home with us as much as he can be. We’re not getting rid of him that easily.” 

Steve knew Tony was right. He knew that Peter was having just as hard of a time leaving them as Steve was having watching him go. But that didn’t mean he was any less upset. He turned to Tony and pulled him in for a hug, for once being the one that needed the comforting. “I just want him back. I want to hear him yelling and making trouble. I want him to be driving me crazy until I almost lose my mind. I want him back. I want to go back. I let it go by too quickly. I didn’t realize he’d be gone so soon.” 

Steve continued to cry as Tony hushed him soothingly and rubbed his back. “Why don’t we spend the night in here? And then tomorrow we’ll wake up and call him first thing. He’ll want to hear from you too.” 

“I want him back. I want him here.  _ It’s not fair.”  _ He cried into Tony’s shoulder. 

“It’s going to be okay, love. I promise it’s gonna be okay.” He kissed the side of his head. “Come on now, let’s lay down. Maybe I’ll let you use the  _ Star Wars  _ pillow.” 

Steve let Tony pull him down onto the pillows and curl around him. Steve enjoyed the rare moments when he was the little spoon. 

But even with Tony holding him close and Tessa licking his face, Steve still laid there with streams of tears leaking from the corner of his eyes as he stared up at the stars he and Peter had put up not so long ago.

"He's okay, Steve," Tony whispered. "He'll be back soon." 

That wasn't soon enough. He wanted him here now so he never had to leave. "Shoulda told him to go to Colombia." 

"You don't mean that. This is good for him. He's got Harry up there just like you've got me. It's going to be okay. This is all part of growing up." 

"He grew up way too fast." Steve still didn't think it was fair that he had pretty much already grown by the time he was his Pops. 

"They always do...but he's always gonna be our baby. No matter how old or far away he is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you expect the crier to be Steve this time? I love making the typical big tough guy break.


End file.
